Recently, I was asked for my view on religion. There was a time when my evangelical upbringing would have conditioned me to resond first with, "It's not religion, it's a relationship!" I would have thought myself insightful, if not clever. However, as much I still firmly believe that the concept of religion as a relationship with the Christian context still has value and importance in spiritual formation and growth, I also believe that it leaves so much out.
The first two definitions of "religion" from dictionary.com are:
1.a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2.a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
When I say I am a Christian, I am saying more than that I simply have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as if were some novel idea or I was doing this solo - just me and God. I am saying that I ascribe to a set of beliefs that has been around for thousands upon thousands of years and that I am a part of a community of people who have held those same foundational beliefs for centuries.
Embracing religion, with all of it's implicatoins, allows me to see the beauty in the traditons, the history, the scripture, and the weight of what it is I believe. When I embrace religion rather than something wholly personal, I am more willing to own up to the egregious behaviors and failings of the global church - to admit imperfections and our need for ongoing sanctification rather than just simply dismissing these errors as the result of someone whose personal relationship wasn't strong enough.
When it was just a relationship, it was only about me. It was about making sure that I loved Jesus and remembering that he loved me. The rest of the world could blur, or grow strangely dim as the song says, when all I was doing was cultivating a love relationship with Jesus. While I can never recall being taught to ignore the rest of the world (especially its suffering), it was easy to simply assimilate that into my life of focusing only on "the relationship." If a concern had nothing to do with me, with my community, with my denomination - it was easy to dismiss it as someone else's problem. As long as I prayed every day and read my Bible and worked on that relationship, I was good.
But, as much as I do believe that God so Loved Nicole that he sent his son to die for me, the Bible says that God so loved the world. The world is old, and broken, and vast. Twelve years ago, I sat on the front row of St. Paul's Cathedral in London and watched with skepticism the rituals and the ceremony of the Anglican service. I was angry sitting there. I was in London on a mission's trip, and here I was being forced to listen to ritual prayers, boring songs, and I'm pretty certain they had real wine in the communion cup! This was not how I worshipped. It was different and strange and uncomfortable. I was not a fan.
By the grace of God, there in St. Paul's began my journey to embracing Religion as the quiet whisper of the spirit reminded me that he is the God of more than me. It took me a while to hear it through my arrogance and indignation, but the whisper was persistent. It whispered that in a world full of humans, no one gets it exactly right. Whispers reminded me that he promises to be found by those that seek him; through centuries he has proved himself true across nations, denominations, ages, and racial lines. It was a slow progression as I learned to let go of cultural baggage on what a relationship with Jesus is supposed to look like, and be willing to accept that it looks different for different people.
I now understand that I am indeed a part of a religion, a follower of God, and recognize that it's not just about my relationship with him. There exists such a depth and breadth to the history of the church and the wisdom, encouragement, and conviction I can glean across denominational and other boundaries is extensive. With this understanding I am willing to listen and to learn. I open my eyes and heart and I realize that there is more than one faith experience with the Christian religion. There are people who dance wildly in praise, those who whisper words they've repeated over and over as they count beads, and people who cry in grief and weep and lament and they are all a part of it. They are all a part of seeking the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and searching for truth.
As I let go of some incorrect and limiting beliefs, my restless curiosity for the stories, viewpoints,and perspectives of others only increased. For years I was ashamed of my widened eyes and opened ears in regards to my faith. I was certain that if I did not lean in to my views with a strong footing and sturdy supports, that I was just weak, apathetic, and easily swayed. It's just been within the past year or so that I've begun to realize: I am not apathetic. For reasons I don't fully know, God has given me a questioning heart. It is with immense gratitude and humility that I praise him for also blessing me with the gift of faith so that in my questioning, he has always been the center, the grounding force. So now I seek to embrace the questions and to seek my God who answers prayers prayed in silent whispers, exuberant dancing, and tearful laments. Who shows up in ornate cathedrals, bare-bones slightly-refurbed old warehouses, sprawling suburban mega churches, and small living rooms in tiny city apartments.
I eagerly anticipate the day when I am able to stand around the throne with brothers and sisters from every nation and age and sing Hallelujah to the Lamb. Maybe I'll run into Terri, the lady who took me to St. Paul's that summer, and tell her thank you.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Bags and Habits
Here are my goals/resolutions for 2012. I'm 15 days in to the new year and it's not a bust yet - so I figured I could publicize them to the world!
1. 52 Bags. I'm getting rid of 52 bags of stuff in 2012. They can be any size bag. So far they've been pretty big - but I'm sure that will change as time goes on - or, who knows, maybe they'll get bigger. The hope is that by the time I get well into this project I'm really evaluating my materialism and consumerism and taking a hard look at the extravegance in my life and finding ways to bless others in the process. So far, I'm on track.
Bag One: Random things - mostly the stuff that's been sitting in a "get rid of" pile for a while - I just sorted through it and bagged it up. I'll be doing trips to donate these things once a month, so at the moment the bag is still sitting in my room.
Bag Two: Books. I sorted through my books to get rid of the ones that either I've had for years and never read or the ones that I've read but have no desire to read again. Anything that was currently going for more than $1 I put on half.com to sell and the rest I dropped off in a "books for charity" box that's near my house. The charity supports adult literacy and I had a number of Christian living books in the donation - so I hope they bless someone somewhere! I'm going to put the money that I get from selling anything in my "52 bags" project aside for now and am praying about what God will have me do with it. It may go towards my goal of paying off debt, but more than likely I feel he will show me some need that I can meet that represents the antithesis to my life of "stuff" - I'm just keeping my eyes and heart open. Just a few dollars in there right now from the book sales - but hopefully it will grow!
Bag Three: That would be this week - the plans are to go through my closet and get rid of those thngs that I say I like, but I never wear. There are very few things in my closet that I just don't like. I'll try to sell some of them - I can pretty reliably sell my used clothing for a pretty good price - so that should hopefully add to the account mentioned above. Things that don't sell will be donated to a local thrift store that provids vouchers for women in crisis to shop. But, I could end up with a different bag of stuff this week!
2. 12 Habits. One new habit a month - striving to make 2012 a very intentional year and inspired by my friend Cynthia over at Hippie Housewife. The goal here is to simply implement new routines, habits, into my life. Big or small. Life-altering or just things that might make me ponder some of the simpler things in life.
January: Initially the habit was to implement a regular yoga routine. My younger brother got me the book MegaYoga for Christmas - and I read through it and started the routines and tried to program the routine in the book into an iPad yoga app - but the combination of bending my body into odd shapes wile simultaneously reading a book and watching a screen to figure out the next pose has proved problematic - - so the MegaYoga DVD is on my to-buy list and it will be February's habit. This month - the habit took me by surprise - it's something I realized I was doing different and then I started becoming intentional about making it a priority. It's going to sound silly - but the habit is making my bed.
As silly as it sounds - I can already see that it's changing the tone and focus of my day. That simple act says so much - - it speaks of order and beauty and purpose. It's a physical act that ends the time of sleep and begins the time of activity. And, at the end of the day, pulling back smooth covers to climb in between the sheets is satisfying. With my bed made - my small living space feels more conducive to doing other things - I gather the throw pillows that have been tossed about my desk space and arrange them on my bed - and suddenly my desk is free to be used to write a note to someone or to work on my finances or to do my Bible study.
There are other goals for the year - starting grad school, building up my emergency savings, reading more non-fiction books (something I can never seem to discipline myself to do with any regularity.) But mostly - it's a year about little steps and little things being a big deal in the end.
I hope everyone else is having a good start to 2012. I pray that it is a year that reminds you in countless ways that there is a Sovereign and Holy God.
1. 52 Bags. I'm getting rid of 52 bags of stuff in 2012. They can be any size bag. So far they've been pretty big - but I'm sure that will change as time goes on - or, who knows, maybe they'll get bigger. The hope is that by the time I get well into this project I'm really evaluating my materialism and consumerism and taking a hard look at the extravegance in my life and finding ways to bless others in the process. So far, I'm on track.
Bag One: Random things - mostly the stuff that's been sitting in a "get rid of" pile for a while - I just sorted through it and bagged it up. I'll be doing trips to donate these things once a month, so at the moment the bag is still sitting in my room.
Bag Two: Books. I sorted through my books to get rid of the ones that either I've had for years and never read or the ones that I've read but have no desire to read again. Anything that was currently going for more than $1 I put on half.com to sell and the rest I dropped off in a "books for charity" box that's near my house. The charity supports adult literacy and I had a number of Christian living books in the donation - so I hope they bless someone somewhere! I'm going to put the money that I get from selling anything in my "52 bags" project aside for now and am praying about what God will have me do with it. It may go towards my goal of paying off debt, but more than likely I feel he will show me some need that I can meet that represents the antithesis to my life of "stuff" - I'm just keeping my eyes and heart open. Just a few dollars in there right now from the book sales - but hopefully it will grow!
Bag Three: That would be this week - the plans are to go through my closet and get rid of those thngs that I say I like, but I never wear. There are very few things in my closet that I just don't like. I'll try to sell some of them - I can pretty reliably sell my used clothing for a pretty good price - so that should hopefully add to the account mentioned above. Things that don't sell will be donated to a local thrift store that provids vouchers for women in crisis to shop. But, I could end up with a different bag of stuff this week!
2. 12 Habits. One new habit a month - striving to make 2012 a very intentional year and inspired by my friend Cynthia over at Hippie Housewife. The goal here is to simply implement new routines, habits, into my life. Big or small. Life-altering or just things that might make me ponder some of the simpler things in life.
January: Initially the habit was to implement a regular yoga routine. My younger brother got me the book MegaYoga for Christmas - and I read through it and started the routines and tried to program the routine in the book into an iPad yoga app - but the combination of bending my body into odd shapes wile simultaneously reading a book and watching a screen to figure out the next pose has proved problematic - - so the MegaYoga DVD is on my to-buy list and it will be February's habit. This month - the habit took me by surprise - it's something I realized I was doing different and then I started becoming intentional about making it a priority. It's going to sound silly - but the habit is making my bed.
As silly as it sounds - I can already see that it's changing the tone and focus of my day. That simple act says so much - - it speaks of order and beauty and purpose. It's a physical act that ends the time of sleep and begins the time of activity. And, at the end of the day, pulling back smooth covers to climb in between the sheets is satisfying. With my bed made - my small living space feels more conducive to doing other things - I gather the throw pillows that have been tossed about my desk space and arrange them on my bed - and suddenly my desk is free to be used to write a note to someone or to work on my finances or to do my Bible study.
There are other goals for the year - starting grad school, building up my emergency savings, reading more non-fiction books (something I can never seem to discipline myself to do with any regularity.) But mostly - it's a year about little steps and little things being a big deal in the end.
I hope everyone else is having a good start to 2012. I pray that it is a year that reminds you in countless ways that there is a Sovereign and Holy God.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Hello World
One of these days I'll be a dedicated blogger who posts insightful, timely, and creative things for the world at large to peruse at leisure.
Until then, You'll just get my sporadic updates and I'll pretend like you've been waiting with baited-breath for them.
The summer was busy as summers tend to be. The end of summer was a highlight as I was able to visit Georgia and celebrate with my older brother and his wife on their marriage, and my younger brother and his wife at a baby shower. (My nephew has since made his debut into the world. I was blessed to be able to "be there" via the wonders of video chat, but am so excited for Christmas when I get to meet him in person.) It was also great to spend time with friends. I miss the people in Georgia and have a fondness for certain aspects of the South and its culture that you can't find in the Midwest - but I'll be shocked if I ever end up living in the South again.
Chicago has enjoyed an actual fall: beautiful blue skies with a bright warm sun and a cool breeze. Streets and yards were full of fall colors. I've relished the days of jeans and boots and lightweight cardigans. We had our first snow last week - nothing stuck - but for a few moments at a couple times throughout the day - you saw a swirl of white flakes making their way down. It is with guarded anticipation that I look forward to that beauty and magic of snow while knowing that it's also going to bring a slushy mess. It will be my third Chicago winter, but the the giddy excitement about that first blanket of white is still there.
Enough about the weather!
I've been doing a Bible Study the past number of weeks with some ladies from church. We are reading through Nancy Guthrie's The Promised One. It is part of a series she is writing on seeing Jesus in the Old Testament.
I am learning so much. I feel as if I'm seeing scripture as one large continuous picture as I never have before. The way in which God has orchestrated the events and lives of people recorded in the Bible from the beginning of time as prophecies and illustrations of the life and purpose of Jesus is just astounding. It reminds me of my favorite descriptor of God - the great Poet God. For anyone who knows good poetry knows that often when a poem is good - it may appear disjointed at a first glance - but some study, and some attention to both the form and content will reveal a master craftsman whose woven a beautiful image.
If I had to pull only one lesson from the study thus far though it would be this: The Bible is not about me.
So often I open the Bible or sit to listen to a message waiting for what I have to learn - how it will change my life, what directions it will give me, what questions that plague my mind will be answered.
And, these are not bad desires. I'd even say they are good and admirable desires that are most often from pure hearts.
Let me see if I can explain where I am beginning to see the problem with a focus on self (even when it's about learning) when approaching the scripture:
Last week we studied the story of Abraham and Isaac. It is a story that makes me uncomfortable. It seems barbaric, arbitrary, completely unnecessary. But, it's there - and it seems that God honored this obedience from Abraham. And, if I want to follow this God - I want to be honored as well. At times in my life I've taken on almost martyr-like dedication to the idea of sacrifice - claiming Abraham as my model for godly obedience.
Abraham IS a model of godly obedience and faith - - but what has hit me while doing this study about this and many other stories throughout Genesis is this: The point of the story of Abraham and Isaac "is not to convince or convict you that you must be willing to sacrifice to God what is most precious to you. It is that God was willing to sacrifice for you what was most precious to Him." (Nancy Guthrie)
I think I've spent far too much of my life searching for what I must sacrifice in order to achieve the blessing of God's promise in my life - while never understanding and fully embracing the idea that the sacrifice has been made and the promised land has been claimed. Jesus fulfilled this story - he provided the Lamb to be slain and he won the promised land of an eternity in Heaven. That is the point - not for us to spend our lives wondering if we're being as obedient as Abraham - but to praise the One who was.
O, praise the One who paid my debt, and raised this life up from the dead.
Until then, You'll just get my sporadic updates and I'll pretend like you've been waiting with baited-breath for them.
The summer was busy as summers tend to be. The end of summer was a highlight as I was able to visit Georgia and celebrate with my older brother and his wife on their marriage, and my younger brother and his wife at a baby shower. (My nephew has since made his debut into the world. I was blessed to be able to "be there" via the wonders of video chat, but am so excited for Christmas when I get to meet him in person.) It was also great to spend time with friends. I miss the people in Georgia and have a fondness for certain aspects of the South and its culture that you can't find in the Midwest - but I'll be shocked if I ever end up living in the South again.
Chicago has enjoyed an actual fall: beautiful blue skies with a bright warm sun and a cool breeze. Streets and yards were full of fall colors. I've relished the days of jeans and boots and lightweight cardigans. We had our first snow last week - nothing stuck - but for a few moments at a couple times throughout the day - you saw a swirl of white flakes making their way down. It is with guarded anticipation that I look forward to that beauty and magic of snow while knowing that it's also going to bring a slushy mess. It will be my third Chicago winter, but the the giddy excitement about that first blanket of white is still there.
Enough about the weather!
I've been doing a Bible Study the past number of weeks with some ladies from church. We are reading through Nancy Guthrie's The Promised One. It is part of a series she is writing on seeing Jesus in the Old Testament.
I am learning so much. I feel as if I'm seeing scripture as one large continuous picture as I never have before. The way in which God has orchestrated the events and lives of people recorded in the Bible from the beginning of time as prophecies and illustrations of the life and purpose of Jesus is just astounding. It reminds me of my favorite descriptor of God - the great Poet God. For anyone who knows good poetry knows that often when a poem is good - it may appear disjointed at a first glance - but some study, and some attention to both the form and content will reveal a master craftsman whose woven a beautiful image.
If I had to pull only one lesson from the study thus far though it would be this: The Bible is not about me.
So often I open the Bible or sit to listen to a message waiting for what I have to learn - how it will change my life, what directions it will give me, what questions that plague my mind will be answered.
And, these are not bad desires. I'd even say they are good and admirable desires that are most often from pure hearts.
Let me see if I can explain where I am beginning to see the problem with a focus on self (even when it's about learning) when approaching the scripture:
Last week we studied the story of Abraham and Isaac. It is a story that makes me uncomfortable. It seems barbaric, arbitrary, completely unnecessary. But, it's there - and it seems that God honored this obedience from Abraham. And, if I want to follow this God - I want to be honored as well. At times in my life I've taken on almost martyr-like dedication to the idea of sacrifice - claiming Abraham as my model for godly obedience.
Abraham IS a model of godly obedience and faith - - but what has hit me while doing this study about this and many other stories throughout Genesis is this: The point of the story of Abraham and Isaac "is not to convince or convict you that you must be willing to sacrifice to God what is most precious to you. It is that God was willing to sacrifice for you what was most precious to Him." (Nancy Guthrie)
I think I've spent far too much of my life searching for what I must sacrifice in order to achieve the blessing of God's promise in my life - while never understanding and fully embracing the idea that the sacrifice has been made and the promised land has been claimed. Jesus fulfilled this story - he provided the Lamb to be slain and he won the promised land of an eternity in Heaven. That is the point - not for us to spend our lives wondering if we're being as obedient as Abraham - but to praise the One who was.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Puppy Dog Tails
My younger brother and his wife are expecting their first child in September - a boy! This little bundle of joy will also be the child who makes me an aunt.
I'm ecstatic. And, as such, have been hunting Etsy and other places and favoriting a number of things. I obviously won't be able to purchase all of these things. (Nor would the baby or parents to-be have need or desire for all of them.) So, on the presumption that I have a number of friends who like to ooh-and-awe over baby and young child things whether you have a tiny human in your life or not - -I present a treasury of Baby/Toddler/Little Boy Cuteness! (Plus, some of my facebook friends flat out asked me to tell them what I favorited. Twist my arm!) I'm including things from etsy and elsewhere around the web!
(And just because it seems the thing to do to make these disclaimers: I don't know any of these sellers nor do I get anything from them for "advertising" here. I just like the stuff!)
1. Onesie Sticker Photo-Props. I love these little month markers you can use for your home photo shoots by Lil Baby Bumblebee . Just stick them on a onesie and voila! personalized age outfit. There are a variety of sticker designs for little boys (and girls). I love the transportation ones pictured and the ties are super cute as well.
2. Locavore Baby Onesies from UncommonGoods.com. Earthy green and red with "Produced Locally" and "All Natural" printed on the front. It makes my hippie side giggle.
3. Off-road wood cars. These rugged vehicles and landscapes are made by Smiling Tree Toys. I'm a sucker for basic, plain, wood toys.
4. Click. You just said, "rawr!" out-loud didn't you? Mhm. Me too. A cute little dinosaur onesie from Rock River Tees.
5..Baby Cowboy Boots. From Puddin' Toes. Pretty much impossible not to awwwww at that.
6. Custom Birth Announcement Art There's something about the spelling out of "eight-o-nine in the evening" that makes me love this. From Invite Me Designs.
7. Houndstooth on a Baby. I think this is more in line with my style than the style of my nephew's parents - - but what an adorable hat and shoe set! By Pink 2 Blue
8. I really like these graphic animal prints as they seem they would transition well from baby-boy to little-boy room. From N. Eve Designs
9. Felted Tool Set. I really do love this. It's ages 3 and up though so I'll just have to wait. From Uncommon Goods.
10. A variety of socks: Baby Tube Socks, Shoe Socks, Puppet Socks, and Oxford Socks . All from Uncommon Goods.
Feel free to share any of your favorite baby/toddler/little-boy things :)
I'm ecstatic. And, as such, have been hunting Etsy and other places and favoriting a number of things. I obviously won't be able to purchase all of these things. (Nor would the baby or parents to-be have need or desire for all of them.) So, on the presumption that I have a number of friends who like to ooh-and-awe over baby and young child things whether you have a tiny human in your life or not - -I present a treasury of Baby/Toddler/Little Boy Cuteness! (Plus, some of my facebook friends flat out asked me to tell them what I favorited. Twist my arm!) I'm including things from etsy and elsewhere around the web!
(And just because it seems the thing to do to make these disclaimers: I don't know any of these sellers nor do I get anything from them for "advertising" here. I just like the stuff!)
1. Onesie Sticker Photo-Props. I love these little month markers you can use for your home photo shoots by Lil Baby Bumblebee . Just stick them on a onesie and voila! personalized age outfit. There are a variety of sticker designs for little boys (and girls). I love the transportation ones pictured and the ties are super cute as well.
2. Locavore Baby Onesies from UncommonGoods.com. Earthy green and red with "Produced Locally" and "All Natural" printed on the front. It makes my hippie side giggle.
3. Off-road wood cars. These rugged vehicles and landscapes are made by Smiling Tree Toys. I'm a sucker for basic, plain, wood toys.
4. Click. You just said, "rawr!" out-loud didn't you? Mhm. Me too. A cute little dinosaur onesie from Rock River Tees.
5..Baby Cowboy Boots. From Puddin' Toes. Pretty much impossible not to awwwww at that.
6. Custom Birth Announcement Art There's something about the spelling out of "eight-o-nine in the evening" that makes me love this. From Invite Me Designs.
7. Houndstooth on a Baby. I think this is more in line with my style than the style of my nephew's parents - - but what an adorable hat and shoe set! By Pink 2 Blue
8. I really like these graphic animal prints as they seem they would transition well from baby-boy to little-boy room. From N. Eve Designs
9. Felted Tool Set. I really do love this. It's ages 3 and up though so I'll just have to wait. From Uncommon Goods.
10. A variety of socks: Baby Tube Socks, Shoe Socks, Puppet Socks, and Oxford Socks . All from Uncommon Goods.
Feel free to share any of your favorite baby/toddler/little-boy things :)
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