Today I had to run into Toys R Us for a minute to look for something. I walked past the clothing section and saw an adorable onesy that had a cute turkey on it and the words "I'm stuffed." I smiled and thought, "I'll get something like that for my kid one day." Then remembered, "No, you probably won't." I know that just the nature of international adoption tends to decrease the likelihood of adopting an infant - and being a single person decreases it even more. Beyond that - I am convinced that the best thing for both me and the child would be for me to adopt an older child - but sometimes I just hate that I'm going to miss infancy. Sure, there will be plenty of cute clothes for older children. And, it's still entirely possible that I'll end up married and having biological children. Most adoption books talk about making sure you've mourned infertility before you proceed with adoption if that's the case for you - - that's not my issue - but on some level I'm realizing that as much as I want to adopt I still have things I need to make sure I "mourn" first. I feel a little silly saying that since it IS possible for me to still parent an infant one day - but, whatever, try convincing your emotions of rational things. ;-)
On another note I was listening to a podcast on adoption today and they mentioned the idea of having the birth mother or the caregiver in the orphanage/foster home make a hand print or fingerprint for your child. This way there is a very personal and unique connection for the child to have to their past and roots and who they are. I really love that idea so hopefully I'll remember it years down the road when I'm finally meeting my child. I was already composing some little poem in my mind about it and imagining it all framed up nicely.